Air, Landier, and Sea

Today we had a private guide take us through not only the Colosseum, but the underground of the Colosseum, which is now a more “exclusive” tour that only so many visitors get to experience daily.

My personal favorite part of the day is watching Bryce with the tour guide. It seems that without fail, we get the guide that is extra zealous and over-the-top.

For example, when we were in Greece, the guide asked Bryce if he was drinking water every five minutes which, of course, Bryce took as a challenge to drink as little water as possible.

When it comes to guides, they can be fairly hit or miss, but this one was recommended by our hotel, as is our guide for the Vatican, so I think Bryce had high hopes.

This guide started out by telling us she had multiple personalities, and she did frequently talk to herself. While this is Bryce’s nightmare, I live for this kind of guide, particularly because I love to watch the guides ignite Bryce’s rebel spirit.

This guide loved to run. She frequently would run towards something, stop on a dime, and then yell, “Quickly! Quickly! Before anyone gets here let’s take a picture!”

As an upholder, I would get into picture-ready position as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, Bryce would take off his hat, then sunglasses, then find a spot to set down his hat, his sunglasses, and the bag that held our waters. All while our guide is still shouting so that we don’t miss out photo-op.

This happened so many times that I can honestly say I got to witness Bryce hit a new level of slow motion I didn’t know was possible. The best part of the whole thing was that (per usual) Bryce was right and we didn’t need to rush for a single picture- they all turned out great and without additional tourists.

The most interesting phenomenon that occurs when in a private tour like this is I become the overly zealous, laughing out loud at every joke the guide gives participant, yet it’s Bryce that the guides continue to want to attend to.

Without fail, they make more jokes, some of which are directed at Bryce, and I laugh along pathetically while Bryce blank stares at them. It’s quite entertaining for me. And surprisingly, it doesn’t discourage the guide from making more jokes.

Don’t think that Bryce doesn’t attempt to be jovial too. For example, the guide showed us a model of the building Mussolini built “for the people”, which is now the headquarters of Fendi.

Bryce replied, “Well if it’s the headquarters of Fendi, it’s gotta be at least 10 times this big!”

While Bryce was pleased by his Zoolander reference, it only inspired the perplexed guide to further explain that in fact this building is huge!

Although this guide was quirky (as were her other personalities), we did learn some interesting things about the Colosseum.

• Most gladiators got out alive. It was actually more expensive if a gladiator died, because then their manager had to “buy” their life, rather than just “rent” it.
• There were referees in every battle. They ensured that the gladiators kept their proper distance from one another.
• There were elevators in the Colosseum, which is how the animals would appear from below.
• The word “arena” comes from the word meaning “sand” because that’s what covered the floor of the Colosseum, which hid the labyrinth of animal and human holding cells below.
• The original battles with animals weren’t between gladiators and animals, but trained hunters and animals.
• Although it was free to go to the Colosseum for a show (in Ancient Rome), spectators still got a ticket, which was heavy as it was made of pottery.
• The Colosseum only took 8 years to build. Inside the Colosseum there’s a model of it, constructed in the early 1900s, which took 22 years to build.
• Much of the original marble from the Colosseum was taken to build Saint Peter’s Basilica.

I personally enjoyed the tour- not just for the interesting information and getting to see the stunning Colosseum, but for the added entertainment of Bryce V. Tour Guide.

I must say my favorite part of the day was going back to the air conditioned hotel (it was incredibly hot today) and asking Bryce, “So she will meet us in the lobby tomorrow at 7:30 for our Vatican tour right?”

Sheer panic swept across Bryce’s face and I believe he said, “Uh, wha, huh…” before I couldn’t keep it together any longer and laughed out loud (now that was a good joke).